2025-26 Miami Heat
091 · 2026-03-11 · medium
Is 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (2026) a musical? It's not as ridiculous a question as it sounds. Imagine that you've never seen any of the four entries so far in Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later post-apocalyptic horror series, which started around the same time as The Mid-Majority (and took a much, much longer hiatus). Or simply don't imagine, if you're the type of person who never bothers with movies like this, and/or if you're only peripherally aware that this franchise even exists. Now imagine you're Netflixing and Chilling, in the biblical sense, and you're scrolling through a streaming service menu and you see this. "Is that a musical?" she idly asked, on her way to forcibly choosing some other slop for us to watch. It certainly looks like Ralph Fiennes is hitting a showstopping high note, and he's due for a musical anyway, and is it really so strange to sing and dance about zombies and demons? Buffy the Vampire Slayer did it 25 years ago. And don't forget that K-Pop cartoon movie from last summer; if you watch it again, without the social-media hypewave, you might come to the conclusion that it actually kinda sucks. My point is that the modality is the message, the medium doesn't matter, reality is compartmentalized, and Marshall McLuhan can suck it. Anyway, basketball. Did you watch Bam Adebayo score 83 points against the Washington Generals last night? Even if you just saw a two-minute highlight reel on YouTube, did you witness the second-greatest individual scoring performance in hoops history? Yes? No? Are you sure? The NBA record book says uh-huh, because it sorts round numbers in descending order. I'm on record multiple times as saying that Kobe Bryant is the second-greatest player of all-time, ahead of that old guy who's still playing, so I have plenty of my own excuses as to why 81 is still better. (I'll start with 61 percent shooting.) If you're an aesthetically-minded aesthete, and you object to stuff like 36 made free throws and 16-48 team on a nine-game losing streak and also on a tank run for AJ Dybantsa, you'll find your own reasons. Why is basketball reality so subjective, when there's a scoreboard up there that everyone can see for themselves? I've got a theory. It could be bunnies!
