2009-10 Butler Bulldogs
098 · 2026-03-28 · medium
Feel old yet? In the early 2010s, this was one of the first proto-meme image macros, engineered to inflict early retirement anxiety on Millennials in their mid-twenties. Shrek and Monsters Inc. were a decade past, and Hilary Duff was a mom, so lmao time to sign up for Social Security lol? The day I officially aged out was August 1, 2024, when Gordon Hayward retired after fourteen seasons with Utah, Boston, Charlotte and OKC. Wait, what?! Thirty-four years old? Oh, my aching joints! Ever since then, I've definitely noticed, umm, changes. I can't function on less than eight hours of sleep anymore, things started happening in the bathroom that I'd never believed were humanly possible, and full-flavor soda is completely off-limits. The Butler Bulldogs' 2010 run to within eight pixels of the NCAA men's Division I basketball champion is a key milestone for a lot of us – whether you wrote 400 pages about it or not – so this week's news that the program hired Ronald Nored as its next head coach represents another opportunity to contemplate Time's Arrow. It feels like only yesterday, doesn't it, when the Bulldogs would be down by two with less than a minute in regulation, the other team would be bringing the ball up, and everyone at Hinkle Fieldhouse knew everything was alright. Don't worry, Ron will get the stop. Ron always did, every single time. As the only Bulldog specifically name-checked in "Too Big Yo" climbed the coaching ladder in the G League and NBA, Butler rode two NCAA title game appearances into the Big East, where the only team they've been able to beat consistently is DePaul. In college basketball's new world, where Duke churns an estimated $25 million per season (not counting an additional $10 million in NIL revenue), where mother fucking Iowa is considered a "Cinderella team", what are the realistic expectations for a school like this? If Coach Nored can outperform his immediate predecessors and bring back the One Beautiful Season magic, then it's definitely time for another book, unless Ohio State gets to him first. If probabilities win out, does Butler kick him upstairs... or even fire him? Miracles might be transcendent, close calls might be glimpses of God, but legacies are heavy burdens on shoulders. Meanwhile, you know who hasn't aged a day since back then? Ron5Robot. Still just as silver and shiny as the day I interviewed him.
